Lessons from My Postpartum Journey

Sometimes life is unfair, but that is also what makes life beautiful. Let me walk you through what I mean. During this season of my life, I am in my postpartum era, which is why I am writing about these experiences.

Postpartum has been a time filled with many eye-opening moments. My journey began in the hospital. During my pregnancy, I believed that after giving birth I would naturally be able to breastfeed, but that was not the case. I experienced my first eye-opening moment when I realized that just because you give birth does not mean your baby will automatically breastfeed. In my case, my son struggled to latch, which later led to feeding difficulties.

The second eye-opening moment was realizing the level of back pain I would experience. This pain began postpartum and is something I am still dealing with as I write this, almost three months later.

Yet, through it all, you truly see who is there for you. My husband stood by me during one of the most vulnerable times of my life. He supported me from the moment we arrived at the hospital, through the birth of our beautiful baby boy, and throughout my healing process. He helped me get to the bathroom, cared for our son, and made sure I had time to rest.

I am also deeply grateful for my parents, who live nearby. During the first month, we stayed at their home, where they lovingly pampered us especially me. Every meal was brought to the bedroom, and we were surrounded by love and care. It truly showed me how real the saying is: it takes a village to raise a baby.

Although postpartum can feel unfair, it is a natural process we go through to welcome one of God’s greatest gifts a child. While it may seem unfair that women go through so much, God chose us because we are strong..

Mothers

They call Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and others superheroes, but those are fictional. For me, the real superheroes are mothers. Mothers undergo a magnificent yet natural process that earns them that title. Their bodies change as they get pregnant, and they carry their unborn child for nine months, loving and nurturing them from within.

During those nine months, some experience morning sickness, tiredness, and mood swings, while others may not feel any of those symptoms. Regardless, all mothers bring their babies into the world one way or another some through C-sections and others through vaginal birth. You might think that is the end, but it is only the beginning of a new chapter called motherhood.

When you become a mother, there is a shift in your life at least that’s how it felt for me. A shift from being able to sleep through the night to waking up every few hours. From eating at your own pace to rushing before your baby wakes up. From going out freely to planning who will watch your child or taking them with you. New chapters bring changes some wonderful, some challenging but you learn to adapt and grow with them.

Your heart becomes full of joy, and at times you may even feel sadness. It is perfectly normal to have mixed emotions. You are responsible for an entire human being. Your baby looks up to you. You are everything to them at a young age their friend, protector, teacher, and most of all, their safe place. When they are happy, they want to see your face. When they are sad, they want your hug or your cuddles. And it works both ways when you see their smile, your heart fills with happiness, and nothing else in the world matters.

Your baby comes first; everything else comes second. In short, mothers are the real superheroes. They are on duty 24/7, 365 days a year. And I am proud to say that I am a mother to a beautiful little baby boy.

New chapter…

I started a new chapter in my life almost a year ago, and now, in less than two months, I am about to begin another. You might be wondering what that might be my husband and I are expecting our first child, a baby boy. I am so excited and grateful to have such a supportive, caring, and loving man by my side someone I am proud to call my husband and the father of our child. One thing I know for sure is that our baby boy will be deeply loved and well taken care of with us as his parents.

Honoring the Promise

Peace, love, and blessings are what I am feeling currently. During a youth service, our pastor once said that in a relationship, you know you have found the right person when you feel continuous peace. In my current relationship, I feel no confusion—my heart is at ease, and when I sleep at night, I feel that same continuous peace. The time spent together, the constant texts, and his unwavering presence by my side all show me the love he has for me. I am blessed to have a caring, loving, and God-fearing man. I am very excited to start this new chapter of my life with him.

Marriage is a fascinating concept—two people coming together and becoming one. Two individuals from different upbringings, lifestyles, and viewpoints cross paths, start showing interest, and one thing leads to another until they fall in love and eventually tie the knot. When this happens, they were once two, but now they become one.

Marriage is more than just a legal union or becoming one, although those are true. For me, marriage is about compromise, sacrifice, and being there for each other through happy and sad times, in health and sickness. We take a vow before God and our loved ones, promising to love and support one another no matter what. Through the love, respect, care, and shared goals we have about life, alongside God’s grace and the strength he gives us through prayer, I believe we can live by the promises we make to each other on our wedding day.

Moving

Moving from the basement to my sister’s old room is such an overwhelming and festering process. Why I say that is not because I have to move, but it is because I have to move to a smaller bedroom, which means smaller closet space— in general, small space to work with. Why it is so frustrating about the move is that I have to reduce the amount of stuff I have to fit into the new space. This is a very hard process which will require me to pack up most of my stuff and put it in storage. It is my Christmas break, but instead of really having the time to rest and enjoy, I have to now spend that time moving. The process of the move is really frustrating me, and I can’t wait to be done with it.

Present happiness

Looking back, I’ve had good and bad times. Right now, I’m filled with happiness. I really want to hold onto this happiness, pray about it, and hope it sticks around in the future. But thinking about the future can make me sad at times because it’s not certain. Even if we plan and try our best, things might not go as we want.

Lately, I have been feeling a strong connection with someone, and I want it to continue and keep growing. When I think about it, it brings me joy and excitement. But then, I worry about losing this happiness.

In moments of worry, I ground myself by focusing on the present—the tangible and meaningful experiences happening now. This is just me sharing my thoughts, but I promise myself to pray and do everything possible to safeguard this present happiness from potential uncertainties that lie ahead.

A trip to Ethiopia, April 2023,

I went to Ethiopia this past April 2023, five years later for my cousin’s wedding. The last time I was there, things were different. New buildings, roads, and parks had been constructed this time around. Family members who had little kids when I last visited were now all grown up. The most significant change and heartbreak was my grandmother’s condition. When I saw my grandmother in 2018, she was vibrant, energetic, and independent. However, when I saw her this time, she had changed completely. Since I hadn’t been there to witness her decline stage by stage, it was a total shock for me, despite hearing about it. It’s nothing like seeing it with your own two eyes.

My mixed emotions began when I saw my grandmother for the first time in five years. My grandmother, who I was told barely spoke more than one or two words a month, said the first words I heard this time, and the first word that was captured on video. To my surprise, her first word was “Bersabeh.” Can you imagine? She hadn’t seen me in five years, yet she said my name. I was surprised, shocked, and deeply emotional all at once. As we walked into the house, I couldn’t help but think about the person I used to turn to when I was sick, the one who would make me feel better. Now she was sick and I couldn’t do anything to make her feel better, not even the doctors could.

A question that I constantly battle with is how a woman of faith, one who diligently praised the Lord wholeheartedly, could have Alzheimer’s. It’s a disease that has no cure and progressively worsens, at least from my understanding. At the same time, I’m always thankful to God for the life she had. She was able to do what she loved most, which is praising the Lord and trying to live according to his words. Even though she is no longer active and capable of doing what she once did, I thank the Lord that she spent her time putting God first in all that she did.

I went to Ethiopia this past April 2023, five years later for my cousin’s wedding. The last time I was there, things were different. New buildings, roads, and parks had been constructed this time around. Family members who had little kids when I last visited were now all grown up. The most significant change and heartbreak was my grandmother’s condition. When I saw my grandmother in 2018, she was vibrant, energetic, and independent. However, when I saw her this time, she had changed completely. Since I hadn’t been there to witness her decline stage by stage, it was a total shock for me, despite hearing about it. It’s nothing like seeing it with your own two eyes.

My mixed emotions began when I saw my grandmother for the first time in five years. My grandmother, who I was told barely spoke more than one or two words a month, said the first words I heard this time, and the first word that was captured on video. To my surprise, her first word was “Bersabeh.” Can you imagine? She hadn’t seen me in five years, yet she said my name. I was surprised, shocked, and deeply emotional all at once. As we walked into the house, I couldn’t help but think about the person I used to turn to when I was sick, the one who would make me feel better. Now she was sick , and I couldn’t do anything to make her feel better, not even the doctors could.

A question that I constantly battle with is how a woman of faith, one who diligently praised the Lord wholeheartedly, could have Alzheimer’s. It’s a disease that has no cure and progressively worsens, at least from my understanding. At the same time, I’m always thankful to God for the life she had. She was able to do what she loved most, which is praising the Lord and trying to live according to His words. Even though she’s no longer active and capable of doing what she once did, I thank the Lord that she spent her time putting God first in all that she did.

What I noticed nowadays…

I have found writing to be very therapeutical. I write when I am worried, happy, sad, etc. In all my different types of moods, I can turn to writing to express my feelings. Anyways, I am here again to express my feelings and I am putting my thoughts in writing. This time around I want to share about what I have been seeing nowadays; I have been noticing that people in their earlier 20’s and above have been getting married or getting pregnant. In the past, when I was in my earlier 20’s, I don’t think at my age people were thinking of kids and all. I don’t know what changed but now what I see on almost every social media is marriage and babies. This got me questioning “what could have changed?”

Blessing

Everything we want doesn’t always go as planned. We might want a certain thing at a certain time and we might not get it at that desired time or we might not even get that certain item at all; that definitely has an effect in our lives and how we think, believe or overall on how we see life. I believe that everything happens for a reason or at least I try to. Sometimes it might take longer to find out why but hopefully, eventually, we will know. Over the years, I have tired to change my thinking; this time around I am trying to focus on the positive things also known as the blessings in life. At the end of the day, before going to sleep I try to reflect on my day. I pick one blessing regardless of how the day went. I write that down on a piece of paper with the date on it and put it in my treasure box. When I feel down, hopeless or want motivation or I just want to read to see what I wrote, I go into my treasure box and pick any of those paper notes. This process has helped me to see the blessings in life in the mist of all the chaos.